I used to trudge my way through books that just weren't for me but I have (mostly) given that up. Now I pretty much only do it when it's a book one of my kids has loved and asked me to read. Not every book is for every person and that's ok. As my dad says, "That's why Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors."
I am having this exact question - about this exact book. I read the first 45 pages over the summer, and then it had to go back to the library and I was... relieved. But I put it back in my holds queue and last night it came up again.
Yes, it is a good book. Maybe itoo good? There is a lot of powerful material about how sad and pointless it is to parent a young child, which is maybe not the thing for me to read in my parenting-young-children era.
I am giving it another chance - another 45 pages or 21 days, whichever comes first. If I only read 45 pages in 21 days, that definitely means this isn't the book for me.
Life is too short to waste valuable time reading anything that's a chore, is depressing, or causes discomfort.
And don't forget: Many people who claim to "love" a book are jumping on a perceived bandwagon or are afraid to appear "unsophisticated." An "emporer's new clothes" phenomonon.
Life’s too short. I started watching Broadchurch last night but it starts with a particularly terrible murder and I thought, no. Not gonna make myself think about this for 3 seasons. There’s celebrated art that’s dark and terrifying and you just don’t have to.
Have not read, but as a very well known Seattle librarian said many years ago-I’m paraphrasing-give it 40 pages. That’s enough to know whether it’s worth continuing.
I've given myself permission to ditch a book that just isn't capturing me. Matt Haig's Life Impossible was a struggle for me. I even made it to the middle of the book and then let it go and picked up The Story Collector by Evie Woods. Best decision I made! It was a fantastic book and I read it in less than two days!
For All Fours. I put it down 3 months ago and every few days, I eye it with more hostility than it probably deserves and try to figure out why,
as one friend said, “everyone on the beach this summer was reading it and laughing out loud” and I hated every single character and every absurdity they participated in. I’ll make you a deal - you Marie Kondo your book and I’ll Marie Kondo mine. I think we’ll both be just fine if we thank them for their service and move on
there is absolutely a mood to my reading, and it sounds like you just aren't in the right mood or headspace for this particular book (or perhaps will ever be, lol, I mostly read scifi/fantasy and thus don't really know this title or author, but it's entirely possible it's not a book you need to read.)
When I was a young woman, I had a tenacity with reading that meant that I defined myself by always finishing what I started. Unfortunately for me this meant that in my 20s with a super high stress job in tech/business consulting and a terrier's spirit about books, I basically stopped reading fiction because I got stuck in the middle of a book that was just not right for me where I was. Where I was then was that when I'd stumble onto an airplane back home at 6 pm on a Friday after working 75-100 hours in the previous 5 days (yes that means very very little sleep) I would be *so pleased* if there was an US magazine or Entertainment Weekly or whatever junky people magazine clone that had the most pictures of JLo out and about getting coffee and looking cute.
My brain needed a break. And I could not pick back up the complex Neal Stephenson book I was reading and make heads nor tails of it. I just couldn't. I didn't read fiction again until about 10 years later (by which point I fell back into it like a fish put back in a pond, I was so happy to be reading again.)
You do not have to like all books, even if you like the author. I didn't love Sandwich, even as so many people I know did, so I didn't finish it. I finished Writers and Lovers and really regretted finishing it. So it sounds like may The Same as it Ever Was is not for me, and that's okay.
Very self-serving, but my latest nonfiction book of essays is useful commentary for this moment in time. Especially the chapter on disinformation called, "Liars." The Time We Have: Essays on Pandemic Living. https://nupress.northwestern.edu/9780810147348/the-time-we-have/
I know the feeling, KJ. I'd say that if the book is otherwise well-written, perhaps put it aside for this season of life. Maybe you'll return to it, maybe not. But sometimes, a book and reader meet at the wrong time, wrong place. There are definitely times when I couldn't read a book because of my life circumstances; I was too depressed, too anxious, whatever. I never finished Room because I couldn't handle being in the head of a lively precocious young child when I had one around me 24/7.
I've also had that shouty voice in my head at protagonists--how can you be so stupid?!--but also a shouty voice at the authors--how can you write this type of unbelievable, improbable drivel and expect me to BELIEVE it?! In those cases, I set aside the book and perhaps rant to my husband about my issues with it. (He's used to this, and my complaints are usually about police procedure or something like that.) I probably won't finish the book or read anything else by that author.
I am slightly more than three-quarters through this very book and having the exact same, and I mean EXACT same, problems with it. Fist bump! I literally just this morning joked to my son, as I was headed out for a walk, "Hey, finish this book for me, will you? It's just going on and on and on and I can't anymore." He won't, and I probably will. But ... it's wearing me down. (And as an extremely modest aside to all the other more vexing issues I have with the story and the pace, WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE EM-DASHES?)
I am currently reading this book as well and will likely finish, but I have also kind of wondered where this is going especially since it is very thick book. I think I am a little over 100 pages in. I will keep reading it though, as I can never bring myself to not finish a book that I start. :) But if you can, I say, let it go, as there are so many books and so little time.
I used to trudge my way through books that just weren't for me but I have (mostly) given that up. Now I pretty much only do it when it's a book one of my kids has loved and asked me to read. Not every book is for every person and that's ok. As my dad says, "That's why Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors."
I am having this exact question - about this exact book. I read the first 45 pages over the summer, and then it had to go back to the library and I was... relieved. But I put it back in my holds queue and last night it came up again.
Yes, it is a good book. Maybe itoo good? There is a lot of powerful material about how sad and pointless it is to parent a young child, which is maybe not the thing for me to read in my parenting-young-children era.
I am giving it another chance - another 45 pages or 21 days, whichever comes first. If I only read 45 pages in 21 days, that definitely means this isn't the book for me.
Life is too short to waste valuable time reading anything that's a chore, is depressing, or causes discomfort.
And don't forget: Many people who claim to "love" a book are jumping on a perceived bandwagon or are afraid to appear "unsophisticated." An "emporer's new clothes" phenomonon.
Life’s too short. I started watching Broadchurch last night but it starts with a particularly terrible murder and I thought, no. Not gonna make myself think about this for 3 seasons. There’s celebrated art that’s dark and terrifying and you just don’t have to.
Follow your intuition. Stop resding. Probably it's a great book, but it's not the book for you at this moment.
Have not read, but as a very well known Seattle librarian said many years ago-I’m paraphrasing-give it 40 pages. That’s enough to know whether it’s worth continuing.
Life is too short to take time reading bad books
Life is too short to read books you don't connect with. Move on!
I've given myself permission to ditch a book that just isn't capturing me. Matt Haig's Life Impossible was a struggle for me. I even made it to the middle of the book and then let it go and picked up The Story Collector by Evie Woods. Best decision I made! It was a fantastic book and I read it in less than two days!
I just finished Margo Has Money Problems which was delightfully quirky. Highly recommend.
Oh boy do I feel this. But not for this book.
For All Fours. I put it down 3 months ago and every few days, I eye it with more hostility than it probably deserves and try to figure out why,
as one friend said, “everyone on the beach this summer was reading it and laughing out loud” and I hated every single character and every absurdity they participated in. I’ll make you a deal - you Marie Kondo your book and I’ll Marie Kondo mine. I think we’ll both be just fine if we thank them for their service and move on
I just finished All Fours and while I get what she was trying to do, it was too weird.
there is absolutely a mood to my reading, and it sounds like you just aren't in the right mood or headspace for this particular book (or perhaps will ever be, lol, I mostly read scifi/fantasy and thus don't really know this title or author, but it's entirely possible it's not a book you need to read.)
When I was a young woman, I had a tenacity with reading that meant that I defined myself by always finishing what I started. Unfortunately for me this meant that in my 20s with a super high stress job in tech/business consulting and a terrier's spirit about books, I basically stopped reading fiction because I got stuck in the middle of a book that was just not right for me where I was. Where I was then was that when I'd stumble onto an airplane back home at 6 pm on a Friday after working 75-100 hours in the previous 5 days (yes that means very very little sleep) I would be *so pleased* if there was an US magazine or Entertainment Weekly or whatever junky people magazine clone that had the most pictures of JLo out and about getting coffee and looking cute.
My brain needed a break. And I could not pick back up the complex Neal Stephenson book I was reading and make heads nor tails of it. I just couldn't. I didn't read fiction again until about 10 years later (by which point I fell back into it like a fish put back in a pond, I was so happy to be reading again.)
Maybe your brain needs a break.
You do not have to like all books, even if you like the author. I didn't love Sandwich, even as so many people I know did, so I didn't finish it. I finished Writers and Lovers and really regretted finishing it. So it sounds like may The Same as it Ever Was is not for me, and that's okay.
Very self-serving, but my latest nonfiction book of essays is useful commentary for this moment in time. Especially the chapter on disinformation called, "Liars." The Time We Have: Essays on Pandemic Living. https://nupress.northwestern.edu/9780810147348/the-time-we-have/
I know the feeling, KJ. I'd say that if the book is otherwise well-written, perhaps put it aside for this season of life. Maybe you'll return to it, maybe not. But sometimes, a book and reader meet at the wrong time, wrong place. There are definitely times when I couldn't read a book because of my life circumstances; I was too depressed, too anxious, whatever. I never finished Room because I couldn't handle being in the head of a lively precocious young child when I had one around me 24/7.
I've also had that shouty voice in my head at protagonists--how can you be so stupid?!--but also a shouty voice at the authors--how can you write this type of unbelievable, improbable drivel and expect me to BELIEVE it?! In those cases, I set aside the book and perhaps rant to my husband about my issues with it. (He's used to this, and my complaints are usually about police procedure or something like that.) I probably won't finish the book or read anything else by that author.
I am slightly more than three-quarters through this very book and having the exact same, and I mean EXACT same, problems with it. Fist bump! I literally just this morning joked to my son, as I was headed out for a walk, "Hey, finish this book for me, will you? It's just going on and on and on and I can't anymore." He won't, and I probably will. But ... it's wearing me down. (And as an extremely modest aside to all the other more vexing issues I have with the story and the pace, WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE EM-DASHES?)
I am currently reading this book as well and will likely finish, but I have also kind of wondered where this is going especially since it is very thick book. I think I am a little over 100 pages in. I will keep reading it though, as I can never bring myself to not finish a book that I start. :) But if you can, I say, let it go, as there are so many books and so little time.
Stop reading now! Sandwich is a great book, this one dragsssssssssssss to the end.