i have complaints and i need a Bedtime Book--but not this one

i don't even understand why they make this stuff

First, I don’t understand why they even make non “SEVERE” Dayquil Cold and Flu. I mean, did anyone ever in the history of time think their cold was not “SEVERE?” Oh, this hellacious stuffy nose and headache and possible fever and overall malaise isn’t that bad, I’ll just not hit it with the strongest possible thing I could have on hand.

Who DOES that? And who the hell bought this not SEVERE stuff? That’s clearly why it’s not working, I’d probably feel fine and absolutely be able to hear through both ears if I had access to the full arsenal of quil available to me.

While I’m at it, why do I sometimes have to enter my 4-digit computer password in order to use the finger scan thing? Shouldn’t the finger scan be more secure? I mean, someone could watch me over my shoulder and get the 4 digit number way easier than they could cut off my finger. I think.

It’s not like I’ve tried. But it does seem easier.

Yeah okay, books. Right. It’s possible books—as in, the reading of them way past my bedtime—has contributed to this minor but also SEVERE health problem which is also clearly preventing me from fully concentrating on delivering the book recommendations that this email is ostensibly for. Because when it comes to bedtime reading, I have a clear preference: non-fiction, preferably of the “read this and be a better version of yourself” genre. You know, you can read a chapter, or perhaps a small chunk, then mull quietly in your mind all the ways you will implement its advice and improve your life, world, relationships. Even if ultimately you don’t actually do any of the things (and sometimes I even do!) this is a good way to fall asleep.

But the right books for that don’t come along very often, and I can only re-read Deep Work so many times. A good memoir also works—even when you really want to know what happens, you kind of already do: author lives to tell about it. But the odd trouble with memoir is that it can’t be TOO good. A good, voicey memoir crawls into my brain. My brain gobbles the voice and wants it to keep going, and so it begins to translate my own thoughts and memories into the voice. (I think this is why I was once a very good essay editor—I mimic well.) Thus, my attempt to read I’m Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself (a very good memoir) before bed led to uncomfortable half-dreams about the pandemic and Paris.

And so I found myself with no bedtime book. Instead, I keep starting novels—but the trouble with novels is that the best ones might allow you to bedtime read until about the half-way point, when it becomes impossible to put them down, and many don’t even give you that. Thus, The Sequel (which I think was even better than The Plot) and Jane and Dan at the End of the World can only be just barely started at bedtime… anything beyond the first three chapters and you’ll find yourself sitting there at 3 a.m., eyes wide open, very satisfied with your reading accomplishment but less sanguine about the chances of having a good day tomorrow. (Ask me how I know.)

I mean, the trouble is the books are TOO GOOD. Just to be clear I absolutely recommend them. They’re great!

But not at bedtime. So what is a person who wants to read just one chapter before bedtime but has no willpower to do? I’m easing my way through a witchy romance but I can tell—pretty soon it will be finish or stop. (It’s called Witches Get Stuff Done, and it has a nice house full of ghosts in it and I’m enjoying it very much thanks.)

I bought the new Oliver Burkeman (Meditations for Mortals) and I’m hopeful it will serve the purpose but then what, I ask you? Then what? And what if bedtime is my only reading time, how will I ever get through all the juicy things on my TBR list? (I finished The Sequel because I’m sick, and that’s probably going to earn me another book or two before I feel able to do anything but lie on the couch.)

When do you read if it’s not bedtime, and how do you stop when it’s time to sleep? Good bedtime book recommendations wanted!

You’ll definitely want to keep reading my books past bedtime—but you should buy them anyway! And try. Or stay up. I feel like that’s cool. Start with The Chicken Sisters and then keep going with In Her Boots and Playing the WItch Card—or start there because it’s October and why not?!